Saturday, March 6, 2010

Almost a year ago I lost my job. I lost my job because I was stupid and caught up and really didn't like it anymore, or appreciate what I had (even though I am secretly glad to not work there anymore). The loss of that job left me depressed, isolated. I had no idea the depth of devastation I would experience. A part of my adult identity shattered. Pile on top of that stunning defeat the stresses of a divorce, children, family pressure, and a turbulent love life.

I'm actually quite disgusted when I look back on both the bullshit I create as well as bullshit I willingly endured. I wasted so much time and energy on believing that just about everything was a waste. When in reality the only waste was the time I didn't use to my benefit.

I really feel like I am currently living a portion of my life that in my sweet golden years I will look back on with both great fondness and trepidation. I've finally moved past the anger. Past the pain. Past the blind love and into the light. Into the happiness that needs no reason. Into the path of enlightenment. Even if that just means less trips to Walmart and more sunrises (after at least five hours of sleep).

Friday, March 5, 2010


Paper Heart

The Bucket List

500 Days of Summer

The Future of Food


*Paper Heart was pretty sweet and funny. I actually teared up a couple times.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

It Always Leads Back To.....

I work with some real bitches. It was only in the last year or so that I even heard of a "hoosier" (other than that basketball movie I never actually watched when I was 15) much less had to deal with these people on a daily basis.

I walk in my place of business just after the sun rises. The sky is just glowing the most beautiful shades of pink, sherbet orange, blue, and purple. By this point I've already (hopefully) consumed two cups of coffee, gotten most of the kids off to the bus stop without any yelling, and listened to at least one song that will get stuck in my head for the duration of the day. I walk in my place of business fresh and happy. With a smile and a strut, ready for the day.

Then I see The Bitches. I may or may not greet them HELLO!, generally depending on how long the alarm clock went off before I ACTUALLY awakened. The Bitches are sour and certainly past one's prime. These Bitches are bulging, droopy, slack, and petite. They truly define the term "Hoosier" for me on a daily basis. Well these Bitches just rub me the wrong way! They irk me! They make me want to say mean things when I just want to smile and la-de-dah my way through the next seven hours!

So The Bitches and I seem to play passive aggressive bullshit games and I hold in the things I want to say. I want to say SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU ARE NOT MY BOSS AND IF YOU WANT SOMETHING DONE THAT DAMN BAD JUST GODDAMN DO IT YOURSELF YOU SHRIVELED UP PRUNE!!!!!! But I don't. I smile and take silent pleasure in the fact that I probably bother them far more than they bother me...although chances are they are not up right now trying to explain this sick little situation to no one in particular.