Saturday, March 6, 2010

Almost a year ago I lost my job. I lost my job because I was stupid and caught up and really didn't like it anymore, or appreciate what I had (even though I am secretly glad to not work there anymore). The loss of that job left me depressed, isolated. I had no idea the depth of devastation I would experience. A part of my adult identity shattered. Pile on top of that stunning defeat the stresses of a divorce, children, family pressure, and a turbulent love life.

I'm actually quite disgusted when I look back on both the bullshit I create as well as bullshit I willingly endured. I wasted so much time and energy on believing that just about everything was a waste. When in reality the only waste was the time I didn't use to my benefit.

I really feel like I am currently living a portion of my life that in my sweet golden years I will look back on with both great fondness and trepidation. I've finally moved past the anger. Past the pain. Past the blind love and into the light. Into the happiness that needs no reason. Into the path of enlightenment. Even if that just means less trips to Walmart and more sunrises (after at least five hours of sleep).

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